10/3/10

I find it truly humoring how I created a blog, composed a single post (about starting new), and two months later I try to compose a second...

Whilst sitting 'Laughing Out Loud' at this fact, I realise many people write and divulge so much about yourself anonymously, but naively should be aware this isn't anonymous. On one hand you are still unknown, your face, background and any unpublished information is still kept private, yet a stranger can read your posts and know how you tick, your fears, and often heartache. I see why so many people are drawn to typing their mind behind the safety of a computer, bluntly put it's a way to emotionally move on, clear your mind etc.

Far be it from me to judge what people upload or why they write, I think it's a good expression as I've always felt in the past it's stopped me bottling things up so much. But this was far from the point of my post, each to their own and I find it fascinating learning about people, then i also find it fascinating watching people and seeing how they interact with each other, thinking about it that's probably quite intrusive, but intrigue is a basic human quality.

Knowing my life's not particularly interesting I'm not naive to think folk would like to hear my ramblings about what I've been doing, however.. tough :)

After starting the year afresh I'd left an old job behind, one that when i began gave me the confidence i needed to progress socially as i got older (rather a shy child) and surprisingly to myself I didn't feel any regret or misery towards leaving. I understand why, after countless staff changes and a different vibe to the workplace I wasn't leaving the place i once loved full of close friends, but somewhere that became selfish and uncaring. Thankfully it became this way, as I would have hated to miss working there, and with my recaptured friendships and a supportive partner and family I've come far since leaving.

Yesterday was the most productive day I've had in a long time, I met with two interesting ladies in very different areas of fashion and got to experience a cast and crew screening. Being in the screening was lovely, surrounded by hardworking people, half of whom go unrecognised for their work, but are still proud as punch to have even gotten the opportunity to be doing their dream job. It was a great feeling. I'm still trying to work out where I'd like my career to go, or even the area in which I currently need to focus on, but I've never felt as positive as I did yesterday. I must add, I did also sit in a rather nice restaurant/bar with my partner before the screening sipping on a cup of tea trying to work out what I should do. I have my sensible head on, financially I can't take a risk to 'potentially' get into a dream industry, as I can't support myself whilst doing this (giving up isn't in my nature this is a transitional career path, and thought process), so my aim is trying to get a more stable job to financially support myself (mines far to up and down) whilst in my spare time working my fingers off to gain experience, build a portfolio and get to where I want to be. However, one major flaw, I don't even know if I'd want to be in this industry.. but isn't it better to try than regret not trying?

So right now I'm sitting in yet another transitional stage, having a continuous headache whenever i think about the prospect of life careers, my ears are ringing..
To take a risk or to not take a risk? (once gaining the opportunity, I'm not that lucky!)

This is where I finish, I can't complete my ramblings.. as I haven't concluded anything yet, I know whatever decision I make I have the most supportive people behind me, which makes things a little easier.

I recognise that what I started off talking about I've now done, obviously I'm aware, and obviously I think this is comical. Ha!